Tuesday, October 4, 2011

musings of a woman

Sometimes not always but sometimes I wonder what is going to become of me? Inshalah I am to turn twenty-six in exactly two months time and I see this road becoming more complex and at the same time interesting. I am surrounded by people who judge, stare and talk. Let me remind myself that I too fall under this category and am certainly not proud of it. But really, as each day passes, there are more whispers and questions.

On one side is the super conservative mindset that balks at the sight of an unmarried twenty-six year old. And recently I came to know that I am talked about in school. I only talk to four people at work and was shocked to discover a recent question by a totally random colleague who asked me about my wedding? I gasped in disbelief and then very happily told her about the break up to which she gasped. She told me that she heard from other people about me. WHAT. And not to mention the time when I was set up by another colleague, claiming that all girls must be married.

At work, I have all kinds of women around me. Those who work to earn and those who work for fun. I see young and older moms and I see hard core career oriented women. There are those with foreign degrees and some with neither. But there is something very evident that I notice in all. They are unhappy. There are mothers with four children hardly five years older than me, who want to get out of the house. They told me very blatantly that they were sick of their monotonous routine and needed a break, they wanted to get out. They were married at a very young age and reproduced faster than they thought and now want to go back to life. They say they envy career women because they never got to do that.

And I know women who wish to get married. They want the whole package, nice house, great husband, two kids and a pet. These women are extremely successful at what they do but are lonely and seek companionship.

Stuck in the middle are the have not’s, the confused souls. They are working to save money to study and pursue other interests. They want to follow their dreams, complete their masters as well as get married. They want everything and wont compromise on their ideals.

And my poor married friends are constantly irritated by questions about their children and are often asked when they plan to have them? Isnt that a great invasion of someone’s privacy? Whether one wants to have children, eat a samosa or dance naked, what right do you have to be asking such personal questions?

My very close friend who went through a very nasty break up( which came as a surprise because he dumped her out of nowhere) has probably still not recovered and is pestered by useless match makers. Isn’t there a limit to where women can or should stop. Girls are approached by random women at Sunday bazaar, asking for their phone numbers and residence. And to top it all, a relative was approached by someone at work which was highly embarrassing.

Married or single or divorced, why does it matter to you? Why must you butt in to ask or probe if all you want to do is talk and not help.

End of the day, you should not be judged or labeled by your status but rather your personality and life achievements. Whether you have raised three children in a perfect manner or attained a phD, what’s important is are you happy? Whether you are a stay at home mom or a social worker, are you happy with yourself and your life? There is no purpose of having a degree or a beautiful house, if you are not content! and that doesn’t require a social status or an education, it just requires you to live each day as it comes and be extremely thankful for what you have.


  1. Great piece of writing. Could def get published. :)

  2. Eat Samosa and dance naked haha!!!

    The problem with our society is that we've too much free time(women) to discuss other people and that is why it is what it is. I hate how women have this crazy urge to inquire "covertly" about the details of your life. (eg: who's your gyne ? translated as are you going to south city or random maternity home for birth).

    Uff yeh guriyaan fitnay ki puriyaan.

  3. When I ask about a gynecologist, I ask if they're satisfied because I have had horrendous experiences in the past. Meine to socha bhi nai k aise bhi hota hai.

  4. I know. Falsaqueen.