ITS WINTER

i am a winter person. maybe its because i havent seen real winters since karachi rarely has cold weather. the temperature falls min to 3,4 on extremely cold days and that too doesnt last long.
so anyway, i am posting these stylish winter wear because i am might be going to lahore on a class trip with my students, thus the clothes.

i love the colour and shape of these shoes. the brand is prediction, check them out if you want.

i love these simple short coats that go on all kinds of jeans!

check this sweater out! i love the way it drapes over your body.

here's to you

I think a part inside of me died after the break up. As happy as I am today, there are moments of sadness and stillness. It sometimes feels like life isn’t moving or progressing. I don’t want to be back with him, neither do I regret my decision. What is sad is when you get used to a person even if you’re not in love with them, you’re so used to them that it pains when they are not around.
There are times when I feel like screaming at him, hitting him so hard that he falls other times I just feel like calling him up. But there’s nothing left to say. Literally nothing. There’s a void that cannot be broken and silence that cannot be shattered.
So here’s the last time that I am ever going to write about you. I don’t hate you, I don’t love you either and I am not indifferent. I am in no man’s land. I am in a place where you exist in tiny fragments of memory and I think of you when someone brings you up or I am extremely lonely. You are you. You will not change and it was foolish of me to expect you to. You are your own person. You are beautiful yet ugly in many ways. You gave me happiness when it was needed and tears when they weren’t. But it is time to let you go. Your rose has withered and died. Your cards have been torn and thrown. Your photographs deleted. I once knew you, a long long time ago. But after spending ten years, I feel I still don’t know you. I know anymore what you’re next move will be or something that’s on your mind. We made memories together and now their nothing but that. They were moments spent with you, with real time and people and now they’re somewhere scattered with millions of other memories. So here’s to you and I. here’s to the time that you and I once spent together that is never coming back. Maybe one day we can meet and laugh at these moments.
But I think it’s time for new memories now. It’s time to let go of the old ones and start fresh. I want new memories and new moments with someone else. So do you. And you will. Inshallah.
So, here’s to you and your ambition, career, love and life. Like I said, I don’t hate you but I don’t love you either. There were tiny pieces of us that I want to let go of, pieces that just lingered in my mind and it’s time to get over with this. So do what you do best… make someone’s life wonderful like you did once to mine……………………………………………….

it is in times like this that i think....

A very interesting discussion popped up at our dinner table on Eid. Actually very interesting is the word.
My uncle who is a sweet creature is also conservative and rather tapered in his thinking, something that I discovered only recently. He mentioned a friend’s son who after spending four years at Oxford studying engineering now wanted to switch to philosophy. Kudos to such men. He mentioned this incident with such distaste and horror that I almost laughed out loud. He also stated how the boy had wasted money, time and a person’s seat. LOL. When people in the twenty first century talk like this, you really wonder if they’re in the same time frame.
Anyway, his words gave way to a very amusing battle at the dinner table. He verses all of us. My younger uncle, who is the cool one, also sided with us.

Me: so what chacho, education is never a waste. He’s going to be a better and wiser man, more educated and intellectual. This will give him more perspective on life because he will have studied two very different approaches to a career. And sometimes, it takes you all that time to realize what you were studying wasn’t right for you.

Him: this also shows his careless attitude. Rather, the fact that he wasn’t focused. His father spent so much money on his education.

Me: there’s a good chance, he’ll get a scholarship for his philosophy degree because he’s from Oxford.

Cool chacho: of course. It is not criminal to not want to pursue your degree. One has a choice to practice what he has studied or not. It is entirely up to him. I think its ok.

Mum: yeah, actually that’s true. A lot of people do that.

This continued for a while until it was time to get up and wash our hands. That day I discovered what people think about education and career. If a math grad student of Canada opts to teach at an A-level school, she is considered foolish. People think her six intensive years and the large amount of money invested in her education was a wrong idea. In her defense, she claims she has a small child who needs her and school job is the right thing to do at the moment. What people fail to understand is how well a mother she will be to her children. Her intellect and knowledge will be instilled in her children. I believe women in our society should work and make something out of their life. But what I suggest more strongly is that they educate themselves. My friends fight with me that they don’t need to go for their masters because their husbands won’t allow them to work. It really doesn’t matter. Your MS or MBA might be useful later. Education is never ever a waste. Life is short and unexpected. You don’t know what is going to happen and what if someday you realize that you have to work. Your education will be your strongest tool to help you rise. The value of good education can never be understated. It is what either holds us back or pulls us through!

a failed yet surprisingly good attempt

Did i mention my recent graphic endeavors? i think i did, a few posts earlier. i teach Art/design at a school and do freelance graphic design work for friends and people. A close friend was starting her own line of cupcakes and wanted me to design her logo. After many failed attempts, VIOLA! here's what i finally made. Hope you guys like it!
i really liked these colours, although she only chose one..

modest beginnings

There are things that only time can teach and heal. I never thought that I would have to end a friendship of more than ten years following an engagement of three years. But I did. And it happened so smoothly with mutual consent and understanding that it still sounds astonishing when I tell my friends.
While we were fighting, arguing or rather growing in different directions, a friend at work told me to follow my instinct. Her exact words were ‘just because you grew UP with someone doesn’t mean that you have to grow OLD with them. They are and will be special but they don’t have to be a part of your life. Your life with them was till a certain time, its time your life took a different direction’. I don’t think I can ever forget her words; they gave me courage and hope.
I am a strong believer of fate and reasoning, which is why I believe whatever happens, happens for a reason. And as time is passing, I feel it’s becoming clearer. The reasons for not staying together are more obvious than ever. He wanted me to stay in touch but I refused. I want this part of my life to get over forever. I don’t want any reminder of him in my life anymore. There are books and art work that he gave me, which will be difficult and painful to throw. There’s an entire box of our childhood days in my cupboard. Cards he made for me, things I wrote in his diary, photographs we took together. I haven’t had the courage to touch those things yet, but the sooner I do the better. Some people say you should live with your past, because you can never let go. That’s probably true, but I want to free myself of at least material things, memories I will have forever. There are so many things that remind me of him that I have to shut myself for a little while to remember then forget them.
The most painful part is to tell people who were least expecting it, then to bear their shock and questions. Recently, I attended a close friend’s wedding and I had a minor breakdown inside. I was truly and deeply happy for her but the thought of what could have been made me really sad especially since she was our mutual friend and had witnessed our relationship.
Anyway, God is kind and just. When he closes one door, the other one opens. I have supportive friends who bake me brownies at two in the night and stay till dawn to hear my aching heart. My brother pinches my cheeks and orders movies with me to calm my growing restlessness. My parents in their own way have come around. My mother who is cool and tolerant tells me it’s alright. My father with his quiet and silent demeanor agrees with my decision. My work is fun and I love the kids there. Free lance work keeps popping from random sources. My sketchbook came for the international project, which will keep me busy till January.
And inshallah there will soon come a time when I’ll look back, smile and laugh at this…

life with kids

i recently started my own module called cartoon making. the photo above is of my students work. they made their own cartoon characters and then painted it.
i loved their work so much that i decided to share it with everyone.

time without any consequence

I had to let you go
Because I loved you, I let you go
Time and many reasons
Came in our life
I want you to pursue your dreams, everything that you had told me once
I know you’ll make it big one day
I know
And when that happens, I ll be most proud of you
But for now, we cannot be together
I was your friend and I’ll always be
But its time for me to let you go……and for real this time