Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
1. Lecherous photographers. After spending thousands of rupees, you find the entire album full of nothing but footage of your hot cousins.
2. Food stampede. The wedding resembles a scene from the starving peasants of Africa as soon as dinner is announced. Rich or not, invited or not, you must beat everyone to a plate of biryani.
3. The pretense. You must smile and pretend like you’re having a ball of a time even if you feel like a million bricks are about to topple down on your head.
4. Matchmakers. Random women will want to know everything, from the perfume you use to your idea of a perfect man.
5. The speculations. Aunts will bet their house to prove it’s a love marriage while other parties will insist it is not. A great debate will stir that will continue till the valima and the many dinners to follow.
6. The ever-late timings. You reach two hours late thinking the wedding must be over but to your surprise the venue is still being decorated and the light man welcomes you with a toothy smile.
7. Family portraits. Everyone and everyone must be included in this ritual. From your step sibling’s nieces to the loyal servant who practically raised you must all be a part of the great event in history.
8. Never ending introductions. From the moment you step into the hall till the time you leave, you will never be left alone. Your sleeve will be torn in the mad hurry to introduce you to someone who your friends think is your ‘soul mate’!
9. Children are left to have a ball of a time after all it is their day. So what if they are found throwing food at guests or pinching peoples butts, nothing that should be the concern of the parents.
10. The farewell. Everyone must cry or at least shed a tear or two from the younger brothers who couldn’t be happier to the little cousin who has no idea what’s going on. Everyone except the bride herself who cannot afford to ruin her expensive make up.
Monday, July 25, 2011
1 The delusion. Every advertisement must have a happy family that sings, dances and is beautiful to look at even if they are selling an Internet package.
2 The disbelief. No matter how ugly, dark or unfortunate looking you are, fairness cream will transform you. From the guy of your dreams to the scholarship that you are so unqualified for are now all yours.
3 Husbands will want to kiss your hands and sasu ma will give you all her jewellery if you cook food in that cooking oil. Pleasing people has never been easier.
4 Your promotion and a new car are guaranteed if your shirt is chalk white and shoes clean and sparkling. Your neighbours will suddenly take more interest in your life and your children at school wont be the laughing stock anymore.
5 Advertising for milk is now as comprehensive as shooting songs for bollywood movies. The same set, loud music, dance steps and extras are required.
6 You are a loser if you don’t have that cellular service. The key to popularity is not your personality but rather the service you use. Friends or family, everyone will love you unconditionally.
7 The answer to a successful commercial is not what you are selling but rather the hot looking model in it. She will not only make your day but persuade you into buying something you obviously don’t need.
8 Water has never been purer. From the wonderful mountains to the great rivers this water lands right into your bottle. So what if the price is sky high, its only fair to spend so much on a basic necessity.
9 Miracles are performed right here right now. The wrinkle free cream will promise you immortality and skin so unbelievably clear, its as if you were born today.
10 Energy drinks. You can climb K2, put your arm inside the mouth of a shark and jump off a plane without a parachute because the makers of the drink assure you just that.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
1. I wont marry you but I would like to come to your house, eat samosa’s with chutney that usually drips down my shirt as I didn’t have lunch and give you impolite stares.
2. I wont marry you because you are dark/too educated/quick to ask questions and not the submissive sort.
3. I wont marry you because my mother/sister think you are not right for me. After all it is them you must live with as I have nothing to do with you.
4. I wont marry you because I am a gold digger and must win a lottery in the form of dowry.
5. I cant marry you because I have to go abroad and it is pointless to take you with me. How will I party and have fun after all ?
6. I want to marry you but my parents think iam better off with a simple, uneducated and domesticated girl who will cook, clean and do all the work for me.
7. I sometimes think of marrying you but then I think about my freedom, travel plans and then why marry when I can just have fun?
8. Of course I will marry you but not today, neither tomorrow nor in the upcoming years. You see I want to establish myself, the more I earn, the more I want but I am sure you’ll understand.
9. I like you and I like sending time with you but darling marriage is like forever and I don’t see myself being with you forever.
10. I am just a wuss, a coward and don’t have the balls to commit. Its not you babe its me.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
a Mac has its perks, like razor sharp images on your screen. So whether you’re watching a movie or simply browsing through images, it’s an awesome experience.
Anyway, coming to what I originally have to say which is wanderlust and traveling. How many of us actually love and by love I mean LOVE to travel? Does your mouth water when you see the peaks of the Karakoram Range? Do you dream about swimming in the Pacific Ocean, or simply wade your feet in its water? If you do then continue reading.
Now iam not talking about expensive traveling where you only think of five star luxury and resorts that you spend all day in. absolutely not. Iam talking about hitch hiking, trekking and simply wandering on your own to discover new places. Infact two years back when I went to Thailand with my girlfriends, I tried to do this. All though everything was planned we did wander off on our own from time to time.
I prefer to travel to cultural, historical and natural places that boast beautiful landscapes. Malls, movies and shopping can come much later. Anyway, there is this beautiful place in Thailand called Chiangmai that most people don’t visit. It’s a hilly area with lots of exotic villages and textile factories. I remember going to a village near the elephant ride park and it reminded me of the Kalash valley(near Hunza, Glilgit). They wore such colourful and interesting costumes and were selling their gorgeous hats and similar looking bags that they had made. The women with their serious expressions due to the harsh terrain were willing to lower the price for us. I instantly bought it and even today people ask me where I got it from. This part of traveling I like most, picking up cultural evidences of the place. The bag eventually tore off but I still have the hat that hangs on my bookshelf.
Another beautiful treasure that I have is from my own country. It’s a beautiful handmade doll from a remote village in Punjab, three hours from Lahore. Three years ago, I went to that village to write my dissertation about them. That village has a story of its own that requires another blog entry. These dolls are so delicate and beautiful to look at and are a product of extreme care and hard work. The women are instructed to wash their hands every hour an hour to prevent dirt in the process. These dolls are extremely famous abroad and are definitely a collector’s item.
The interesting thing about traveling to exotic places is that you witness sites, objects and people you wouldn’t otherwise. And when you come back people cannot believe you went there. Beginning of this year I went to the famous Tharparkar desert of Pakistan with my students and the experience is worth sharing. I have mentioned the trip in an earlier blog so iam going to stick to only thing, which is the beautiful Jain temple, that we saw. Too bad those cameras weren’t allowed because of security reasons, as it was the border of India and Pakistan. But I never knew about this place until I actually saw it. Flashbacks of Art history lessons came through that reminded me about the formation, pillars and carving. The amazing thing about such places is that you forget about other things when you’re there. I was in total awe when I saw that temple and for a while I didn’t know who was with me and why.
I have a habit of making promises to myself that I don’t often keep. But inshallah I have promised myself that any chance that I get, whether it is here or abroad I will await it. Next on my most wanted to visit places is Hunza in Baltitstan. From there I want to continue towards the glaciers and finally reach K2 base camp. I have no intention of climbing that monster, just want to enjoy the epic peak.