The recent change in weather has taken a toll on my mood and I find myself in a good mood these days. The wind is chilly where I work and just a thin sweater is not enough to keep oneself warm, so I am thinking of getting in the mood to really dress up for it, coats and scarf’s here I come.
Anyway, nostalgia or simply a change of atmosphere, I have been thinking of my nani and watching all her favourite plays. Ashfaq ahmed was her beloved author and I have been watching his dramas recently. From aik mohabbat sau afsanay to his long plays, wrapped warmly in my comforter, headset in my ears and a chocolate or coke as company, I am mesmerized for hours.
For a few hours, I am transformed into a world that seems almost unreal today. A world that tells you the real meaning of love. Love that is neither selfish nor overbearing, or demanding. It is love. Plain, old simple love that you have for another person. It does not suffocate, hallucinate or deviate. It is there as a reminder for you to live each day with what you have.
As a child, my nani used to make me watch all these dramas with her. Stupid or rather naive that I was in 7th or 8th grade, I used to watch with confused eyes. Perplexed emotions and an indifferent attitude was all I used to feel back then. Later, my nani used to explain these things to me. She tried to tell me about life in her own way and through ashfaq ahmed’s words. She tried to warn me about bad men, failed marriages and ungrateful children. She herself led an extremely happy and successful marriage for a short time only, but it was worth it she said.
‘ I loved my husband’, she used to say.
‘but he died and so young!’
‘so what, the years that I lived with him were one of the best ones of my life. my husband was my friend, my confidant and of course, he spoilt me like crazy but all those years were worth it’.
Sometimes, when I am watching these plays, I can almost feel her presence. I feel like she’s somewhere nearby and it’s the most comforting thing in the world.