Tuesday, July 26, 2011

10 things i hate about weddings

1. Lecherous photographers. After spending thousands of rupees, you find the entire album full of nothing but footage of your hot cousins.

2. Food stampede. The wedding resembles a scene from the starving peasants of Africa as soon as dinner is announced. Rich or not, invited or not, you must beat everyone to a plate of biryani.

3. The pretense. You must smile and pretend like you’re having a ball of a time even if you feel like a million bricks are about to topple down on your head.

4. Matchmakers. Random women will want to know everything, from the perfume you use to your idea of a perfect man.

5. The speculations. Aunts will bet their house to prove it’s a love marriage while other parties will insist it is not. A great debate will stir that will continue till the valima and the many dinners to follow.

6. The ever-late timings. You reach two hours late thinking the wedding must be over but to your surprise the venue is still being decorated and the light man welcomes you with a toothy smile.

7. Family portraits. Everyone and everyone must be included in this ritual. From your step sibling’s nieces to the loyal servant who practically raised you must all be a part of the great event in history.

8. Never ending introductions. From the moment you step into the hall till the time you leave, you will never be left alone. Your sleeve will be torn in the mad hurry to introduce you to someone who your friends think is your ‘soul mate’!

9. Children are left to have a ball of a time after all it is their day. So what if they are found throwing food at guests or pinching peoples butts, nothing that should be the concern of the parents.

10. The farewell. Everyone must cry or at least shed a tear or two from the younger brothers who couldn’t be happier to the little cousin who has no idea what’s going on. Everyone except the bride herself who cannot afford to ruin her expensive make up.


  1. LOL. i hate the photographers too! but only because they insist on taking my picture all the time. they're always like "choti baby, idhar aao, yahaan kharay hojao." for like 50000 pictures hahaha
    i actually love the late timings! it gives us more time to get ready and arrive without the fear of missing the entire occasion.
    the children are such a bother, though :/ i hate it when their parents can't control them.
    in every wedding i attended the bride and the bride's mum are the ones who bawl the most :O

  2. None of cried at my wedding, I think the food situation was great too, what do I know? I was being served on the stage. But generally I agree.

  3. furee katt: you are so adorable, i would take your photos too if i were a photographer. and yes the parents are a mess thus they bawl.
    sky high: lol. this royal treatment only the bride can get, not even the groom.
    but i generally hate weddings. i find it to be an insipid event and always try to sneak my way out of it.